Motivation

Motivation

Most of the time the difference between success and failure is a decision.   The decision is usually based on a reward / consequence emotion.  Your desire to achieve the reward of success plus the pain of accomplishing the tasks necessary to reach your goal = SUCCESS!!!  However, some people will decide the pain of accomplishing the tasks is too great for the reward and the consequence for not completing the tasks is acceptable. Once you get into this thought pattern it can be very difficult to get back out.

“Successful people are willing to do what unsuccessful people won’t”.

“I am not motivated”, “I need to get motivated”.  These are two of the most common statements I hear when someone is not wanting to accomplish a task.   Have you ever said that?  The truth is you are motivated.  You are motivated to NOT do something.  Is it losing weight, cleaning the garage, or something else?

There are two types of motivation, Positive and Negative.

Positive motivation is all about the reward you receive for completing a task.

Negative motivation is the consequence you receive for not completing a task.

When we look at a reward for positive motivation, it could be an emotion or something material.

The consequence for negative motivation could be an emotion or even loss of a material item.

So, when someone says; “I am just not motivated to (fill in the blank), the truth is they are focused on the negative motivation.  Losing weight is a great example for adults.  Many adults struggle with this issue.  Losing weight for most people is simple but not easy.  Unless there is a medical condition preventing weight loss, all someone has to do is eat correctly and workout.  Now, when you break that down a simple process can become very difficult for busy people.  Trying to eat correctly can be difficult if you are on the go.  It is very easy to stop at your local fast food restaurant for that high calorie meal.  When you make that decision, you are making a decision to accept the consequence rather than the reward.  This happens because the emotional attachment to the consequence is not great enough to go through the trouble of eating right and working out.  It is that simple.  YOU HAVE TO GET ANGRY!!! YOU HAVE TO ATTACH A SIGNIFICANT EMOTION TO THE REWARD / CONSQUENCE.  This is why many people find success by using a personal trainer.  Sure, a trainer can educate you about the correct choices, but once you know what to do they motivate you to do it.  They are there to hold you accountable.

Kids are the same way.  The challenge with kids is the amount of negative motivation a parent uses to get the behavior a parent wants.  Hear me CLEARLY!!! You have to apply negative motivation (discipline) to get a child to do what they need to do.  The problem comes in when there is not enough reward (positive motivation) to accomplish a task.  In my opinion you need to praise your child ten times more than you correct them.  I am not saying you need to bribe them.  However, on an occasion that is not a bad thing.  If you are constantly disciplining your children and not offsetting that with proper praise and reward, your child will develop a negative outlook.  The secret is to get your child or even an employee to want to do what needs to be done.  Catch him / her doing something right and praise them for it.

Steve Swinford is the owner and Master instructor of Victory Martial Arts in Norman, OK.  He can be reached at www.normankarate.com or 405-447-3005

Potential

Imagine a world where every person performs to his or her God given potential.  I imagine there would be little hunger, homeless, unemployed and people in prison.  Sure, I am over simplifying the issue.  If you look at children in the United States that go without food daily, you will find in most cases the parents are not living up to their potential.  Sure, there are some unavoidable circumstances.  But, in many cases it goes well beyond that.  It is adversity that knocks someone down.  Then they fail to get back up and give it 100%.  While perseverance is another topic it does play a part in not reaching your potential.

If your child is making a C in math, is it because they have reached their ability?  If your student had a D and is now making a C they are certainly on their way up to full potential.  The interesting thing about potential is that we are capable of so much more than we expect or require of others and ourselves.

It really does not matter if you are an adult or a child.  Failure to reach our full potential is about motivation (see my blog on motivation).   We are living in an entitlement society.  Entitlements are not about reaching potential.  Entitlements without conditions are about a lack of expectations.  

You get what you expect.  Expect to get up and give 100% to your job.  It is irrelevant whether you like your job or not.  Expect your children to give 100% in every task they attempt.  While it is not reasonable for a child to make an A on every assignment, it is reasonable to expect a child to consistently improve and give 100%.

While I was at the Moore Police Department I transferred into one of the local JR. Highs.  I was amazed at the lack of expectations with some of the children.  If a child had been diagnosed with ADD or some other challenge, they would get an Individualized Education Plan (IEP).  Most of these children were floated through the school.  The teachers were frustrated, the parents (some) were frustrated, and the principal was frustrated.  The expectation was lower for these children.  I saw several children that were not allowed to have homework (it was in their IEP).  Some children only had an IEP to prevent them from being kicked out of school.  If a child has an IEP (diagnosed with an disorder or challenge) they could not be suspended for more than 10 days a year.  It was the thought of many teachers that some children were diagnosed and given IEP to prevent them from being suspended for behavior issues.  Some of the behavior that I observed I diagnosed a LBOB disorder.  LBOB Lack of Board on Bottom.

The point of this article is not about who should be diagnosed with a disorder or who should not.  This is about expecting every person to reach his or her potential.

YOU GET WHAT YOU EXPECT from yourself and from others.  Expect the best.

Steve Swinford is the owner and Master Instructor of Victory Martial Arts Inc.  Norman Oklahoma.  www.normankarate.com 405-447-3005